True Wisdom begins and ends with GOD, a short essay
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True Wisdom begins and ends with GOD (the message of Our Daily Bread for today, October 31, 2012)
I'm feeling a bit nostalgic today.....
I still remember the memories that continues to haunt my heart and soul.....When I was just an innocent child, I used to read the bible and pray together with my mother and youunger sister every single night. That had been our habit until I reached the peak of my teenage years. Those were the times that I felt really closer to God.
Admittedly, I was consumed by darkness when major things started to happen in my life. Life-altering.....destructive events and incidents.....accidents that almost took my messed up life.... I also came to a point where I tried to commit suicide.
My journey as a Christian is what I can call a roller coaster ride. But as I keep on breathing....I am still amaze of the unwavering presence God has on me. No matter how horrible my voyage could be....no matter how evil I could be.....I can't shake HIM off. He's still there....He's never gone. He's not letting me go.
I realized just now that I missed those wonderful times when I was just oblivious of how cruel and heartless the world and its people can be. Those times that I would be moved... I would cry as God's words touched me. I miss those times when I held my mother's hand with one of mine while the other would hold my younger sister's as we pray together, thanking God's blessings, asking for His forgiveness and asking for what we need.
You know what? I'm a bad person. I can never be a Christian like Mama...or my younger sister. I said to my sister recently that i'm not afraid to die...I don't even care what way I'll die...if it will be tragic or peaceful. But she said, "You're not an evil (or bad) person Ate, even though you keep on saying that. You only have weaknesses and shortcomings. You make mistakes. But it doesn't mean that you're the worst person."
Sometimes, i hurt others. Sometimes, they hurt me too. But I can never be resentful forever. I don't hold grudge for a long time. I'm not hateful, I'm would just be angry. People would misunderstand me and conclude that I'm angry, but sometimes, I am only HURT.
The loner that I was...an outcast before....a vulnerable woman...
So much lessons have opened my mind about A LOT of things.....Though some may regard me as intelligent (or smart), I would shrug and tell them, "Inteligence is useless when you're not wise." I already know the difference of being intelligent from being wise. I would always hear my Mother mention 'wisdom' but i didn't have an idea what it was. Thankfully, I understand her now.
Wisdom is from God.
What is the wisest thing that I ever did? During the darkest hour of my life, when I was about to surrender, I had chosen to listen to God's voice. I had chosen to SURVIVE and LIVE :)
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| This is not goodbye... (Credit to the owner of this picture) |
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