Unrequited

Unrequited, a short story based on real life ;)

There is nothing more hurtful than a love that is unrequited. Trust Pauleen because she knows...

It is even worse than having a cheating boyfriend, an us-against-the-world drama or a no-time/long-distance problem in a relationship.

Nathan. That is his name. Is there still a chance? Will she keep on hoping that someday soon he will finally return the love that she is feeling for him? Or should she stop fighting for a love that will never exist?

Four years…that’s how long she’s been in love with him. That’s also the same length that she is waiting. But it seemed like a century of misery for her.

This is a story of Pauleen’s love for Nathan…a romantic relationship that will never be. You can back out now from reading this…you’ll only feel heartbroken. But if you insist, don’t say that I didn’t warn you… This doesn’t have a happy ending.

Church choir...that’s where it all started. For the first time in her life, Pauleen finally knew the feeling when suddenly she felt numb...her knees got weak like she was about to collapse right before the eyes of Nathan. She could hardly breathe and her heart was beating fast. She just stared at him for a very long time...the clock seemed to stop. If only she could hold on to that moment forever and freeze the time.

He was a thief for stealing her heart.

His voice became music to her ears. His mere presence made her act ridiculously. His rugged face served as a moon that gave light to her night. With each glance, she would be on the verge of apoplexy.

She would look forward to every choir practice…mainly because he was there. Her heart was filled with love and joy…it was all his fault.

As they became close friends, it grew bigger. The force became even stronger and the depth was as deep as the Mariana Trench. The degree of her control was as high as Mount Everest. Was he blind? Didn’t he see the signs? How could he not sense it?

Months past…doubts began to cross her mind. Would she finally admit it to him? Maybe she should just keep it a secret…it might be better that way…Or else, their friendship will suffer.

The day came when she had gathered enough willpower to finally profess her admiration to him. & nothing hurt more when he rejected her…Yes, he REJECTED her.

She couldn’t help but think of this: “What if I just take it back and love you in silence rather than suffer a great deal of pain because of rejection?”

But it’s too late…it was already done. As she stared at his picture in her phone on a windy but sparkling night, a thought came into her mind: At least…he knows now.

Edmund touched a part of her heart two years later. He became her first boyfriend. But he is not her first love…Nathan is, her heart beats for him every time. After these years…he is still the one.

More or less, she just used Edmund. Frankly, she didn’t. She loved him in a way…

Six months later, Karma came and bit back at her. Ed chose his career over Pauleen. He went to Manila after he graduated and left her broken hearted.

Is she a stinking garbage that guys always disregard in the trash can? Nate didn’t give her a chance while Ed made her feel worthless. Where should she place herself?

If only she’s not in love with Nathan…she might have given Edmund a reason not to leave her.

Weeks past…Nate started to confide in her. He was so dumb and insensitive for sharing his secrets and plans on his love life. He already knows Pauleen’s feelings for him but he kept on asking for advices and suggestions on the girl he wanted to court or his ex-girlfriend that he thought of reconciling with…all those things that didn’t really involve her.

On the other hand, she admits that she was stupid to tolerate it… She didn’t like the fact that everything she did and said seemed really desperate.

“What do you think is the best gift to give to him?” she asked her friend.

“Honestly, do you think that if he receives a gift from you he would finally realize that he loves you too?” Jem pointed out to her bluntly.

“Well, it might help. Who knows, maybe he will?” she replied.

“I am your friend. I care for you that’s why I don’t want to see you like this anymore! Stop this foolishness because it’s just a total waste of time!” Jem wasn’t finish yet with her words of wisdom. “Listen to me…a guy in his right mind will be gentleman enough to keep off his interest in other girls from the person who has deep feelings for him, ESPECIALLY because he KNOWS it.”

Pauleen was taken aback. She looked alarmed…it was better for her to keep a distance away from Jem.

“I don’t care if you are trying to understand him… I know that you’re thinking that he’s not doing anything wrong…that for you it seemed like he doesn’t have any flaws. Of course, what you know is, he’s definitely a good guy. He will not do things like this. But guess what?! Wake up…because no matter how you try so hard to look and act nice in front of him…it will not be effective. Do not insist yourself on a guy who is less than what you deserve…By the word ‘less’, it means someone who doesn’t really love you.”

Jem’s voice faded as Pauleen suddenly saw herself in front of the mirror… A sweet, skillful and strong girl is smiling back at her. Her wise self began to speak: “There is someone out there that you rightfully deserve…The battle you’ve been fighting for four years is not worth it. Let it go… Jem’s right, you’re a precious gem that should be treasured and not to be wasted especially by the man who is your other half.”

She suddenly felt her friend pinching her. “Hey, are you even listening to what I was saying?”

“Yes, don’t worry Jem. Everything you said went straight to my mind and heart.”

“That’s great to know…So, now, answer me. Can you…No, let’s change that. Will you release the chains that have been imprisoning your heart because of your ‘mistaken’ love for Nathan?”

Her phone was ringing. She looked at the caller ID, it was Nathan.

She looked at Jem…she was mouthing the words: “Don’t answer his call!”

Pauleen defied it. “Nate!” she sounded excited.

“I already called because you are not replying my texts. Anyways, is it okay for you to accompany me in buying a special gift for Lucy? I’m so happy! We just got back together…”

She is freaking tired… Nathan was still talking when she decided to end the call.

“I told you so…” Jem snatched the phone away from Pauleen. She didn’t think twice of throwing it straight to the waste basket.

Pauleen was looking down on the floor…tears started to fall.

Jem sat on the corner of Pauleen’s bed. “Whatever you do to him, even if he’ll suffer from amnesia or whether I will gratefully bang his head to a wall or not, nothing will change Pauleen. It will still be the same for you and Nathan.”

Pauleen went towards the window overlooking the bright full moon shining over the calm sea. As she stared at it, Jem said, “Please, start a reformed life without Nathan. After all, you’ll leave soon… Free your heart from those chains Pauleen.”

Jem was about to stand up when Pauleen turned around to face her and smiled.