Marvelous Alejo: A Token of Love and Gratitude

I normally celebrate my birthday with all simplicity. No big parties…..not much visitors…..few extravagant gifts…. This is the very first time that I will make a difference…

I’ve never written anything like this. As I turn 21 years old this October 22^nd, my only wish right now is nothing but love, good health and blessings to all those people that I love, admire, respect…to everyone who is close, special and important to me. And as I reach this certain momentum in my life, there’s something that played a unique role. A part that I never even thought would come to life.

Let us rewind a bit…whenever I look up to certain people, I become so supportive of them. It’s like an unwavering addiction that is hard to resist. I would be walking with them through their ups and downs every step of the way….. I would love them unconditionally not ‘because of’ but ‘in spite of’. Many have witnessed my loyalty to these people. I will not mention the Hollywood celebrities that I really admire until now….or even name local ones here in the Philippines. This is not about them… It’s about the most Marvelous person that fell down from heaven and I (kakapalan ko na ang mukha ko sa pagsasabi nito), the most “precious” JEM (gem) of all.

I’ll be blunt (thankfully, I don’t have to be restrained by the Cybercrime Prevention Act of 2012 because this is not written to rant…it’ll focus more on goodness and positivity), I wasn’t really interested with Artista Academy. When it was launched, I didn’t care a bit. It was all an accident when I first laid my eyes on that show. The moment it happened, I wasn’t aware of anyone. I didn’t have any idea of their names or whose names fit those faces (and vice versa).

If you’re gonna ask me even until now, I wouldn’t explain exactly why out of the sixteen, it was you, Marvz, who captured my interest. There was just something magical about you that can easily steal anyone’s heart. I’ve always pointed out about your undeniable “masa” appeal. I didn’t only embrace you for your beauty (inside and out), or talents/skills…..it was the ‘whole’ Marvelous Alejo (personality/character/attitude included).

Of course, from then, I was contented looking from afar. Looking back, I’m not even sure what drove me to write my very first post regarding you. But I knew that I was so inspired. I didn’t have any expectations of its outcome. My only goal was to share my love for you with my fellow supporters/fans. I think people already understand why it was a huge surprise for me when after days, finally, it was noticed. (Prior to this, my blog had about 15,000 views since it was established.) How did I know? It’s just the mere fact that the views of the post had increased tremendously. I couldn’t help but become curious on how it happened. Eventually, I saw a link of one of its sources. It brought me to your first and official FB account. My post didn’t just land right before your eyes. I have to thank TeamMarvsAngels for being the channel that connected me with you.

It’s hard to describe what I felt at that time. Of course, I was sure that you’re referring to MY blog post. But I still thought twice because I didn’t see you mention my name. But reading the phrase “Guardian Angel” was more than worth it. Yeah, I admit, that because of that, it didn’t matter to me whether you know my name/identity or not.

Personally, considering a person as a guardian angel is born from something deep. It’s not always that we encounter guardian angels these days. It’s very rare to find a person as one. If I would call someone as my guardian angel, that means he/she is special.    

So, obviously, it was an arduous task for me to recover from it. We’ve got to admit, it’s not always that someone like you will be able to take some time to do what you did. That would actually be closer to impossibility. A part of my recovery involved posting a new one. This time, I was filled with extreme excitement. I intended to put a personal message to you because I was hoping that you’re gonna have another chance of reading one of my blog post (the second one about you).

It took some days though before I went online again. That’s when I discovered that I was acknowledged for the second time around by you. You shared the link of that particular post through FB.

I was more than happy during that moment compared to the previous one because of the very obvious reason. I thought I was just dreaming! It seemed like a beautiful illusion. Did I just saw my freaking name?! That can’t be me! I was in denial, believe me. Taking it all in instantly wasn’t easy. Just imagine how it was more intense for me when I saw that sweet phrase: I love you. Punch me….slap me….wake me up! Did you just say ‘I love you’?

The next that I’m going to share is not a post that I planned all along. The best way to explain why I came up with my third blog post about you is this. The level of emotions that I felt while writing it was at its maximum. So, it’s not a shock that, if not all, most of those who have read it cried. When you pour your heart that much the readers would be able to feel the feelings behind it too.  To tell you the truth, out of everything that I have written, whether they are posted here in my blog or not, this particular blog post is one where I really exerted and invested a huge part of me.

I’m sure we are all aware that as I was there in front of my laptop, encoding it directly on MS Word, I’ve gone through and dealt with tremendous agony. It’s a good thing that I didn’t write it on paper because it might have ended up wet with tears.

On a lighter note, for everyone’s information, this certain post is the 8^th most viewed here in my blog and the first one among the posts related to you, Marvz. I wasn’t expecting much but the recognition that it received was just overwhelming. And I was quite nervous, do you know why? Well, it would be a shame for me if you would not read it just when I intentionally reserved a long message for you in that post, while you had been able to read the two previous posts given that there was only a small space used in those for my brief messages. The pressure was on.

Thanks to TeamMarvsAngels for being the bridge. I don’t really care that I got to see my name more than once. What matters is that the particular blog post has touched you and most (if not all) of us. I wouldn’t be happy to know that you cried. And I’m sorry for somewhat causing that. But it just showed how powerful the post was. I felt that it was a good thing that it made you cry as it implied that it possessed an impact to whoever will read it. Come to think of it, wouldn’t other people cry too?

I admit that I’m somewhat spoiled right now because you thanked me again (and I think I’m losing my count). I’m not gonna get used to the attention that I’m receiving especially the posts.

After the success of this post…I didn’t have any plan of writing another soon. Why? It’s because I’ve already moved on and forward from the fact that you were kicked out. There was no reason for me to write again. I guess we can all imagine how psyched I was when there was hope that you’re gonna be back again in the race through Tropang Kick-out. That meant another post which will be posted right after whatever the result would be: whether you would make it in the Top 6 or not.

I am knowledgeable that nothing was certain at that point. There was no assurance that among the five girls vying for that last slot, you would be the one to clinch it. And it was wrong for me to expect more of good news rather than the contrary. It would have been better if I had placed my emotions in the middle. If people would ask my opinion, I really thought you had the best chance. I truly believed in that fact. But then, maybe it just wasn’t enough. I wanted to see the result of the votes because I’m pretty sure that you had the most number. The one that pulled your grade down was your live performance although admittedly, you still did well.

Enough of the fuss….. I now move on to that fourth post about you. It took some days before you had managed to read it. I was surprised when I opened my FB account and found out that I had a PM from you, yourself. You see, I PMed you days before. I was not hoping that you would ever reply back. I was beyond excited to read it. Of course, whatever is in that message, it’s between us. Some of it needed to be kept privately.

I understand why you didn’t read it immediately….And regarding what happened, you had gotten over it. While I was reading your message, I can’t help but question if those words that I was seeing are from a 16-year-old. The way you handle things after everything that took place….the positivity that you exude. I know that it wasn’t easy at first….It was actually a brutal battle because not only did you have to survive through AA but your personal life too. You wouldn’t know this Marvz, and I might get in trouble but someone had told me what was going on behind the camera. It also broke my heart but I just prayed that you’re strong enough to conquer and overcome all those ordeals. I knew you wouldn’t just give up easily no matter how tough it may seem.

I’m not shock at all with all the blessings that continue to pour down on you because you deserve it all even though you didn’t win. Being selfless, thinking of your family first before yourself is the reason why I salute you more. The fact is there are a huge percentage of selfish humans. My responsibility as the eldest (my mother is a high school Principal while my father is a contractual DPWH employee) is nothing compared to the huge responsibility you have on your shoulders right now. If I am in your shoes, I wouldn’t know what to do…given how young I would be. And it’s just great that God is on your side because HE wouldn’t leave us especially during the toughest moment of our lives.  There was only one pair of footprints in the sand not because we walked alone, without God’s help/presence. That pair of footprints is not ours but it was God’s. He carried us throughout that journey. I’m pretty sure that you know about the story of the footprints in the sand. Every Christian should know that. If we’re going through bumps in the road, just remember that story.

Back to your message...You were grateful of my love for you even though we didn’t meet yet. And to be honest, like any other fan, I would be joyful (and I want it that bad) to see you personally but since I’m living here in the province (after studying in Manila for one and a half years), that is not possible to unfold soon. And you added that you don’t know how else you could thank me. I’m also guilty of influencing my younger brother. He’s a fan too and he’s got this little crush on you (take note: he’s seven years old). I had second thoughts of telling him about your message because he might get too proud of himself...especially since you said that “he’s sooooooooo cute!” And again, I love you too.

And now, we arrive on this fifth and latest post. What can I say? Reaching the age of 21, it’s supposed to be the age of absolute legality and independence. My mother will pay more tax as I celebrate my birthday on October 22. I know that it means more expenses. Thinking of that, it’s hard to be completely in high spirits. I might as well spend it in simple ways without the need of spending too much. So, since writing is one of my sanctuaries, I might as well give myself a gift….this can be one of the best that I will ever receive (I have a plan of buying a red ear turtle for myself as another birthday gift). At the same time, my aim is to produce a newer post that is a lot more positive and inspiring than the last one.

For all of us who are reading this, I hope this will help us realize that nothing is impossible…as long as we have that determination to achieve that goal and first and foremost, as long as God is in us. Never let go of that strength and fortitude. Be courageous enough to take the risks. There’s no harm in trying as long as we’re not stepping on other people. Instead, take them with us in our journey. If they’re our friends, love and value them more. If they’re our enemies, or those people who hate us, never take revenge on whatever they say or do, no matter how harmful and destructive those would be. Remember, vengeance is not ours its God’s. Letting them destroy our spirit is the biggest regret we’ll ever make. Just think of this, we’re not doing anything wrong. As much as possible, just ignore them while we keep on pleasing God. Bakit tayo bababa sa level nila? Kung may pinag-aralan tayo talaga, huwag na nating patulan. Kung lumaki tayo talaga ng mabuti at maayos, hindi natin sasayanging makipagpalitan ng salita to the point the minumura mo na sila dahil masyadong matitinding foul words na ang sinasabi nila. Pero kung mapilit ka talagang makipagdiskusyon, ilaban mo na lang sa Parliamentary Debate o sa kahit anong klaseng debate, malay mo, manalo ka pa, di ba? Don’t waste even just a minute of our lives on these hateful creatures, I meant detractors. Focus on the good things, it’s worth it.

To wrap this up, before you (Marvz) became aware of my posts and me, I didn’t have even an ounce of belief that something like that would turn out to be real. It was as if I am trying to read a 500-page book in one minute. You might have heard it many times before but you have touched and inspired lives…And that’s a great legacy to leave behind. I’m beyond grateful that even though I already know that dreams do come true and nothing’s impossible….you’re one of the constant reminders of it. At times I become weak, but if you can sail through that vast ocean, why can’t I? I know that I’m not as strong as people see me at this point of my life….Contrary to before that whenever they take one look at me, they say, “she’s a weakling” because I was actually one. I admit that I have that fragility inside of me. I almost lose my life through accidents…and I tried suicide once. I believe that although it might have came across your mind to do that too, pretty sure, the will to live had prevailed.

Thank you for being an angel who had fallen from heaven. Thank you for the words of wisdom you’re sharing. Thank you for your positivity no matter how miserable life can be. Thank for being selfless in a world full of selfish people. Thank you for being a model Christian. Thank you for being a loving daughter (I’m a Mama’s girl from the very start…I think that’s already the case even when I was still inside my mother’s tummy =D). Thank you for being a responsible eldest sibling (I’m the eldest too and I actually wanted to have an older brother to look after me…..There’s still some kind of a different comfort of having one. But the funny thing is, all those guys that I get close to are not that older and they just end up as friends…..I consider no one as my older brother. But I’m still hoping of meeting one….maybe someday in the future). Thank you for reaching out to your supporters…that’s a good quality in having a lasting career. Keep on being an inspiration….keep on touching lives….Continue on being an epitome to others.

It’s a shame that I can’t show my support to you personally by being there or attending events that you’re in….or watching your first indie movie….If only I’m that close. But I will not regret of coming home here after studying in Manila for one and a half years. I was living in Sampaloc with my relatives. And the house is one ride away from SM Sta. Mesa where you went to for a mall show, SM San Lazaro (you also went there) and SM City Manila. I could have ridden a jeep in going to SM San Lazaro and SM City Manila. I could have ridden LRT2 in going to SM Sta. Mesa. I know that I’m missing these opportunities. I’m resolving to my own little ways in supporting you. This is one way….. I’m excited for your album…I assure you, I’ll buy it the moment it will arrive here in the province. And I’ll probably listen to it often. Your voice is just soothing to listen to. A good singer doesn’t necessary need to have a ‘diva’ voice. What you have is exactly right for you. I could be in a very bad mood for all I know but upon hearing your song, it could bring me the serenity that I would need. I’ll be watching you from afar…and even though how far the distance is, I’ll be your guardian angel. You won’t see me but you’ll feel my presence. I’ll be your silhouette, following you whatever road you take, or choices you make. I’m one of your defenders. I hope though that you’re going to find your knight in shining armor in God’s time… We’re all for one, one for all. We’re all in this together.

My love for you is unconditional…..I could see beyond the surface, embrace your weaknesses/shortcomings or mistakes that you might make, understand your actions, and respect your decisions. I have already done that to a few people and I will not have second thoughts of doing just that to you too.

I’ll be very much looking forward to meeting you personally. Who knows? Maybe God will make a way. We might bump into each other at an unusual place on an unusual time. You’re a reachable star in the sky…It will be an honor and privilege to be really close to you. I’m not a relative but I could apply (parang nag-aaply lang ng trabaho J) as one of your Ates LOL. Remember this, you can lean on me…you can reach for my hand…I’ll leave everything that I’m doing just to come to your rescue. I will not be able to fly to where you are, but I’ll use the power of my pen.

When I was given another chance to live after I almost died due to a motorcycle accident, it took a week for me to realize that I still have a purpose in life. My mission is not yet done. It’s a fact that this is one of the reasons why I’m still breathing. When I almost took my own life, I was convinced that it’s meaningless. I was wrong. I would have not encountered a marvelous person like you, even my fellow fans…and all these people that are special and important to me. It’s funny to think that it seems that I have the same number of lives as the cats…..Somehow, even though darkness would be on the brink of conquering me, there’s still a flickering light….the presence of God’s grace working in my heart and soul. Some people are cruel and merciless…their happiness is a person’s pain. The world is full of evil right now…it’s getting worse as the day goes by. But it’s good to know that God is on our side and we have each other.

I don’t know when I will die. But I’m not afraid of it. My only fear is I might not be able to survive through the life that I’m living though I’ll seize every moment especially good ones. I might not reach 80 years…at least I could say that I became happy and complete, and I was respected and loved. 21 years….I’ve gone through a super sensitive incident, I have faced ordeals that outsiders wouldn’t even imagine. I’m grateful to have made it at this spot. I’m a young adult but I’m still young at heart J I just want to enjoy what’s left of the duration of my life.

It’s my birthday…thank you Marvz, and to everyone who is reading this, for being some of the best gifts that I would ever receive. You’re a blessing from God. I owe you a portion of who I am, what I have and where I am.

“Just when I thought of surrendering…..I thought of the wisdom and fortitude that God has given me and the people I might leave behind…On my way down, I saw not only one hand…but many…it was God’s and my loved ones’ catching me. Looking up at the sky, the sparkling stars were smiling at me. Doves were circling around me. Trees and plants are swaying as if they were waving at me. The water flowing filled my thirst. Why would I choose death when I’m already at home? J Why would I let myself be consumed by darkness when I have all of you? Yeah, I’ll keep on fighting, surviving and living through the end.”